Add and social skills

[ted]

I have never had much of a social life. I thought it was a severe self esteem issue that I felt I would never solve, I recently found out about ADD. I know that I am attractive but I always felt that if a woman found out about my past, she wouldn't want me. If I do get a woman's phone number I almost always hyperfocus on her in a way that totally turns her off. Anyway, my question is this: What are some things for a person with ADD to keep in mind when meeting a person and starting a relationship or friendship?

[tmm32579]

Hi. I have ADD to. I have found out that anyone who is good enough to be your friend, girlfriend, etc...will like you for who you are....I tell everybody about my problem. Don't be ashamed..did you know that there are over 20million people who get effected with some kind of mental disorder every year?

[mynameisdustin]

I believe that a mixture of medication and treatment is essential in improving your social skills. But that is only a small part of the formula. You need to get out there and experiment. Through trial and error, you will figure out what to do differently the next time. There are too many fish in the sea to be concerned about your past and there are plenty that will accept you for who you are. Also recognize that you can't change the past, but use the knowledge from the past to avoid future debacles.

[firefly]

Hello,

(Sorry I haven't read the whole thread here, just the first post, concentration dissappearing, will get round to understanding in a minute!)
I have an odd past which I am ashamed of and problems with self esteem, but now lucky enough to have a boyfriend i can trust and laugh about it with. When you meet someone who is worth spending time with they won't jump to conclusions about you because of your past.
My first relationship lasted two years, but wasn't a relationship at all, my second was eight months of pretending to be with someone else.
My current relationship I have been in for 3 years and the first one where I actually feel trusting and comfortable with someone.
However, when it comes to social life, I don't have many friends I keep for very long because I'm constantly worried about them finding out things about me. I can appear somewhere and appear to be a social butterfly, but because I have so much to hide, people usually notice me, and then will never see me again. Partly that I have something to hide, and partly becuase I will never get round to contacting them for some reason or other.
Because I've been sucessful in finding a relationship, my advice is that you have to try to open up and be yourself. if someone really likes you they won't run off because of hyperfocussing, i do the same thing, but when people really get on together they see it as positive attention instead.
If what you feel you have to hide is ADD, so many people have it I don't feel it can be anything to hide. Before I read up on it, I as completely ignorant about it and only recognised it as some sort of "naughty child syndrome" and when I met people with ADD and the told me, I thought it just meant they had problems when they were a child, and my reaction was pretty much "oh ok", as in just another thing i know about this person, not that my opinion of them had changed in any way at all!
For friendship advice, I'm not the best person to answer since I don't have very many.
If any woman judges you for it, she isn't worth it.